It really is disappointing to hear that I have a disease, especially when it is a chronic disease. But what do I do when I have responsibilities like raising my two children, keeping the house in order, and having food prepared. It SUCKS! But how can I be positive about this. Doctor says I can’t exercise, be stressed, over exert myself or be out in the sun for a long time. How is this possible? Life is full of surprises and stress and over exerting oneself is a common thing in motherhood. Although life is unpredictable, I don’t want to complain nor want sympathy over my sickness. Being vulnerable is scary. Being vulnerable makes me feel like I have been defeated. But what can I do to show my kids that I am strong and giving up is not an option. How is God helping me with this? How is he beside me and loving me when he’s only giving me heartache?
I will get through this! I will surpass the tiredness and sickness! How can I live stress free? First thing is first. I have to be able to find a solution in being able to keep the house clean, raising my children in a fun and loving home, making sure the fridge is packed with good food, and being able to be sane without exercising and going outside. So I found a reasonable solution. I made cleaning the house a fun activity (basically, I told my children if they don’t clean up their toys, it will be locked up). Half of their toys have been locked up. Their kitchen set had a rope tied around it since last week. My kids character cabinet has been child locked for the past month. Their markers have been placed on top of a bookshelf.
Honesty is huge aspect in my life. I strive for the truth. No matter how heart wrenching it is, I want the TRUTH.